Lauren Duca 

Because she supports the lives of vagina people who need to obtain safe and legal abortions

I am voting for Kamala Harris because she is pro-life—which is to say, she supports the lives of vagina people who need to obtain safe and legal abortions, as well as the livelihood of children who have already been born, in the form of family-relief programming, although, surely that takes the term “pro-life” much too far past the point of conception. At its core, abortion access is a matter of economic equality. Even before Roe was overturned, it was the poor women in states without access who struggled most, having to scrounge up gas and hotel money—if not also daycare for the kids they already have—in order to find their way to a provider. To be fair, if they weren’t able to spend the money to obtain care, they may have been later able to use it to purchase the latest SNOO.

It goes without saying that Supreme Jerkface Brett Kavanaugh was an affront to democracy before the nation met Christine Blasey Ford. We tend to regard the court as a vacuum-sealed institution, despite the fact that justices are confirmed by Senators, who allegedly represent a majority public opinion in support of reproductive rights. On that basis alone, Kavanaugh should never have been confirmed, given his case history, including arguing against Roe as settled law as a White House lawyer, before vaguely referring to it as precedent, which he then overturned. The only moment of sanity in his hearings came when then Senator Kamala Harris asked, “Can you think of any laws that give the government the power to make decisions about the male body?”

Reproductive freedom is the single most urgent and actionable issue at stake in the 2024 election, and that would have been the case even if the Christian fascism of Project 2025 were up against another round of Joe Biden, who, by the way, on a personal level, has been far more consistently anti-abortion than Donald Trump. Not only is Harris  willing to say the word “abortion,” she was the first vice president in history to make a public appearance at Planned Parenthood. Most importantly, she has promised to reinstate federal protection as a matter of bodily autonomy and the right to health care. It’s also the reason she is going to win. Almost ninety million women have registered to vote in November, and, while some may show up in favor of the American government’s pussy grabbing, I’m willing to bet that most of us will be acting on the deep desire to give Brett Kavanaugh a wedgie, if only because he’s asking for it.

Lauren Duca is an award-winning writer and comedian.